Pending and Current Storminess

Apparently we are battening down the hatches for some crazy weather starting tomorrow night. There could be 60 mile an hour winds and 3 inches of rain! Hopefully, it won't start until I get home from work tomorrow afternoon and will end before I have to be up for work on Saturday. But it should be fun to watch a crazy storm.

My credit card account went all bizarre with balances transferring and weird charges and I couldn't tell what was going on. When I went online, I found out that they had upgraded my account and had switched it to a whole new card number. Now I can't get my Microsoft Money account ledger to balance and have no idea what's going on. The customer service guy said it was a good thing and I wasn't being charged anything additional but I can't make heads nor tails of it. I spent way too much money moving and can't wait to catch up and pay down my credit card. HATE how big my balance got so fast.

The new home is still getting there. I need more shelving and an Entertainment Center. But the cats love it and it's a great location. I'm close to so much fun stuff. The job is definitely a huge undertaking but such an amazing opportunity. I am a little homesick but am still glad I came.

Goals include: Fostering a Captain Picard Attitude at work, eating healthy and getting enough sleep, getting a budget back on track and paying off credit card debt ASAP.

News

Without further ado, here is the official announcement:

I will be moving to Providence, Rhode Island on July 20th, 2010!

It's just really funny and strange the way things happen sometimes. I had been job searching for the last few years and had been on several interviews without anything clicking. I was fortunate enough to find my current job and escape where I had been before, as I had absolutely hit a wall there and needed to move on. While my job now is for a great organization and with some wonderful people, I just wasn't feeling it. I was functioning below my capacity and just didn't think it was a role that I was going to be able to stay in for a long time.

SO, just for fun, I sent a resume to this position I saw on the Feminist Majority Foundation's job board. It was director of a women's health center in Providence, RI. I thought "Huh! Of all the places in the world!" since Providence is where my mom's family is and near a bunch of friends from my first year in college. And that it sounds like THE JOB I went to school for and that all my experience has been prepping me for. So, I sent it. And within a day I got a response asking me if I could come to their local office for an interview. The interview went incredibly well and it just so happened I was going up to Providence the following weekend for a friend's Renaissance Faire and my Aunt's birthday. So they scheduled me to tour the center and have a phone interview with the management consultant that has been helping to get the center merged with this new management company. Those also both went amazing well and when I got back, I met with the CFO and one of the owners and they offered me the job! It was just the most clear, smooth process ever. Friends and family were thrilled and offered me all kinds of help and hospitality if I were to come up. It was just as if the Universe was flashing a big, neon sign pointing me in the direction of Rhode Island. All the pieces just came together. And when that happens, how could you possibly say no??

It's an amazing opportunity to do great things and be in a place close to my parent's hearts and a chance for a whole new set of adventures. I loved being in New England for college that one year and going back had always been a little possibility in the back of my mind. Of course, it's terrifying as well. And just the thought of all of the accounts, cards, contacts, alumni listings, mailing lists, etc that I am going to have to change makes my head spin. Moving that far away is way different from moving between Wilmington and Newark!!

It will be a little sad to be further from my family here and my amazing friends and their new families, but we're so lucky we are in the age of Facebook and Skype and text messages, so they will never be far away in that regard. And the fact that I will be making more money certainly doesn't hurt and will hopefully mean I can fly back for a weekend now and then. And of course, be around for holidays and important events.

So, I will let everyone know where I end up living, I will hopefully know by next weekend!

Follicular Trauma

Well, my haircut was so traumatic that I had to eat an ice cream sandwich. And then I remembered (my mom reminded me) that every haircut I get is traumatic because I so thoroughly hate my hair. I always think "Maybe this will be the time she'll spin me around to look in the mirror and I will look smart, sexy, professional, confident, prompt..." I suppose that is a lot to expect of a haircut. But a girl can hope.

But sadly, it never is. Even poor Michele, my stylist, looked defeated. She was was trying to stay positive and actually said "So you just keep scrunching like this and it will look like....a big frizzy mess. Ok, let's try something else." So she then tries using a round brush with the blow dryer. And this is how I know my hair is hopeless: It actually attempted Seppuku mid-style, by leaping into the vent of the hair dryer. Michele and another stylist had to unwind my hair from the fan.

It wasn't Michele's fault. I was a difficult canvas to work with. I love the color and we'll see what happens tomorrow when I wash it and attempt some scrunching with wave-boosting mouse. At the very least, I tried something completely new and I did get to have a glass of wine at the salon and hang out with all the rich cougars in Greenville. That was pretty fun.

But now I know for sure, I can go to Supercuts and pay $12 bucks for a haircut I will love/hate just as much.

Wake-up Call

Some unpacking from today:

1. I drank way too much soda, not enough water
2. I got a lot done at work, making me feel really useful for the first time since I started
3. I sang on-the-spot at choir practice that, while on the edge of terror and humiliation, actually sounded pretty good
4. I have not gotten home before 8:30 a single night this week
5. Payday on the 15th and the last day of the month can really suck on a paycheck to paycheck kind of month
6. Spending money thoughtlessly catches up with you very quickly
7. If I don't make time to workout everyday, I lose some of the strength I have gained immediately, which just makes it harder to restart
8. Hurting someones feelings just all around sucks, no matter the intention
9. You can't pin all your plans and hopes on potentiality, sometimes the present reality must rule
10. The heart wants what the heart wants
    
11. Losing weight is awesome...until you have no pants or bras that fit and no wardrobe replacement budget
12. Kitty sneezing fits are adorable
13. I have less than 2 months to make a decision about where I'm going to live after August
14. Music is healing
15. Planning downtime to recharge is necessary
    

Grumblings

I'm not sure what was going on at work today, but I'm thinking there was a contagious case of Tourette's going around. Everyone was walking around cursing under there breath all day. I would be sitting at my desk and hear obscenities coming from 3 different directions. The fact that I'm in a cubicle in the middle of the office means I can pretty much hear everything anyway. Guess it was that kind of day for a lot of people!

I was insatiably hungry all day. I've been plateaued on my diet for the last couple weeks. I haven't gained any fortunately, but haven't lost any more. I know it's because I haven't had much time or energy to work out. I MUST get into some activity routine. Irritatingly, the Zumba classes in the area all start at like 4:00 or 4:30, long before I get out of work. There's a yoga class that I've done before that I would love to do, but it doesn't start until 7:30 and goes until 9:00, which feels really late 2 nights a week. I could rejoin the gym down the street, where classes are included for $25 bucks. Or I could join the Y, which my friend Stacy loves, but it's like $50 :-( I just need to decide what I can handle and make a decision.

Compromised by having a salad and a kids meal sized chicken finger meal for dinner. Definitely not the BEST choice, but it was sooo satisfying and not the worst choice either. (Ok and some peanut M&Ms). My tummy just needed some comfort food. OK, the INSIDE of my tummy, not the OUTSIDE.

As beautiful as a shiny flower

This was something a 4- year old I met this weekend said I was. It was very super cute. She actually helped restore some of my belief that children can be sweet and well adjusted and normal. What a sweetheart!

Today, after feeling in the diet doldrums, I had to go to Rita's for some sugar-free water ice. There was a pretty long line, but I decided that it was worth it. I was very annoyed at the number of people that, instead of parking in the parking lot that was all of 15 feet away, PULLED OVER in the fire lane and parked right in front of the store. Is it that walking that 15 feet from a parking space to wait in line for frozen calories would be too much? It was just a very slothful thing to witness. Fortunately, I was uplifted by the hundreds of people out walking and playing at Glasgow Park yesterday. Our country really needs to get it's priorities in line!

I would normally never get cherry, but that was the sugar-free flavor. As it turns out, it was sooo yummy and reminded me of summers at the pool at our apartment when I was really little. Nice memories.

15 measly pounds to go to get to my goal weight. Then my plan is to get a new tattoo to celebrate!! I'll be taking suggestions!

Spring Forward

I did a totally unspring-like thing today, which was to make chicken soup. I sort of got trapped because I bought a chicken with an expiring gift certificate, and then decided I needed to cook it since it wasn't frozen, then needed to use the carcass to make chicken stock, then needed to make the soup since the stock had been sitting there for a couple days and I decided that if I froze it, it would probably never see the light of day again.

SO I made a big pot of soup with a lot of aromatic vegetables and no starch. I figure it will be a healthy option to mix in with my eDiet meals and the rest I will take over to my parents and they can add noodles or something. The diet itself is going really well. I have lost about 11 pounds in three weeks and have even been working out semi-regularly. It does make a difference, I feel stronger, my skin is clearer, and it has certainly inspired me not to cheat. I still have a fairly long way to go, but at least I'm seeing progress.

Starting Again

Which part is harder? Starting something? Or maintaining it?

Diets, cleaning, craft projects, relationships. All hard to start, all hard to maintain.

Or are they? Why does it seem like some people have an effortless ability to visualize and achieve something, and for others even big obstacles roll right off their back. I have felt like my coping skills have began to significantly wain over the past year. And maybe it's a sign of the times we are living in. No one is coping as well as they used to and life is just too damn hard sometimes!

BUT I digress: I am starting diet #317 (or at least it feels like it). I have been on it for 4 days and have lost 4 pounds. I have even exercised twice. I'm actually feeling better already and hoping that this is something I can really stick to for at least 8 weeks. After that, as long as I have made as much progress as I hope to, I will stop "dieting" and start just living and making much better choices.

Realistic Goal: 28 pounds
Optimistic Goal: 43 pounds

The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum

Murphy's Law

That about sums it all up for now.

But after being smashed into by two possibly insured immigrants in a borrowed car, having two friends come be the best morale support I could ask for, waiting in the cold, dealing with unsympathetic policemen, fighting traffic, talking to the insurance company, being assessed at the walk-in clinic and losing all the progress I've made with the Chiropractor in the last month, I got to witness weirdness that reminds me I am still glad I am me:

Waiting at the counter at Happy Harry's to buy a massive bottle of Advil, I watched as a very angry, approximately 8 month pregnant woman with very red, recently waxed eyebrows screamed at the cashier about how absurd it was to card her for cigarettes when she obviously was older than 18 and came in there to buy cigarettes all the time and that their policy to card anyone who looks under 30 was crazy. Sure, honey, you are DEFINITELY one to preach sanity.

A 2010 Epistle

I am so LAME for not writing in 4 months!!

That being said, I have about 5 million things going on in my life. So just for fun, I will list them along with the corresponding category of leading causes of stress according to stress researchers:

1. Finances: Bought a new car. A gorgeous 2010 Kia Forte, it's fun and I call it my robot car because it has Bluetooth, Satellite Radio and I can plug my iPod into it. I am now paying rent for a two bedroom apartment on my own. I have an uncomfortable amount of student loan debt that has gone into repayment.
2. Work: I will not go into details about what was driving me over the edge at my last job, but after 7 years I am leaving PP and will be starting with Delaware Guidance! It was a fantastic opportunity to help create a new position. I am going to be the administrative Team Leader for the Wilmington and Newark offices. (Hate the title, going to work on that) Basically, I'll be managing all the nonclinical support staff. Job changes are stressful, even if a good thing.
3. Family: My mother had a total hip replacement in December. It was absolutely necessary and will vastly improve the quality of her life but unfortunately she lost her job because of it. Completely ridiculous in my opinion, that they can fire someone for using the benefits they pay for, to get a necessary medical procedure. I worry about my brother and his health. He is so smart, I just wish he would pull his life together and take care of himself.
4. Personal Concerns: What the hell does that mean? I hate my skin and the texture of my hair. Does that count? The world is a scary place. Fox News exists. I fear I'll never be able to buy a house. Sarah Palin's book was on the best seller list. I could go on.
5. Personal Health: This is a fun one. My neck has been completely locked and painful for a week. I tried pain meds but the pain kept coming back. I went to the Chiropractor for the first time today. The doctor was actually shocked by my X-ray. My neck is so completely wrecked that my spine actually curves in the OPPOSITE direction than it should. He wasn't sure how my spinal cord wasn't being compressed in such a way that I would be suffering neurological problems. I am going to be in intensive treatment for the next month. Ouch.
6. Personal Relationships: The end of any relationship is difficult. But my last relationship was emotionally draining. I know I can't be responsible for anyone but myself, but I still feel really sad that I couldn't make things better. It was never going to happen, I know this now, and I can't feel guilty for the choices others make. Doesn't really make it easier though.
7. Death: My maternal grandmother died a couple weeks ago, following a long illness. Watching her fade away was an intense experience, but ultimately made her passing easier to cope with. There wasn't much of her left. It was like the last trace of her Liz Claiborne perfume finally drifted away. I am happy and grateful she went peacefully and is no longer suffering. I am at peace with it completely. But what makes me afraid, is that it opens the door to the other side and will start the process of losing my other grandparents. And it means my parents are that much closer to aging. And that I'm one year closer to 30 and I'm alone. Eek.
   

HOWEVER: I think that I have been instilled with a great sense of fortitude against challenges and adversities. I am not whining and I am not giving up. I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I am lucky to have a great education, a great car and a great new job. I am lucky to have a comfortable apartment and the best kitties in the world. I am lucky to have my physical health and mental well-being.

All you can really do is forge on, and have faith that the Universe will bring itself back into alignment. I am ready for change and ready for the new adventures and relationships that 2010 will bring me. So Happy New Year to all and never forget, now more than ever, to count your blessings and to say I love you when you have the chance.