A 2010 Epistle

I am so LAME for not writing in 4 months!!

That being said, I have about 5 million things going on in my life. So just for fun, I will list them along with the corresponding category of leading causes of stress according to stress researchers:

1. Finances: Bought a new car. A gorgeous 2010 Kia Forte, it's fun and I call it my robot car because it has Bluetooth, Satellite Radio and I can plug my iPod into it. I am now paying rent for a two bedroom apartment on my own. I have an uncomfortable amount of student loan debt that has gone into repayment.
2. Work: I will not go into details about what was driving me over the edge at my last job, but after 7 years I am leaving PP and will be starting with Delaware Guidance! It was a fantastic opportunity to help create a new position. I am going to be the administrative Team Leader for the Wilmington and Newark offices. (Hate the title, going to work on that) Basically, I'll be managing all the nonclinical support staff. Job changes are stressful, even if a good thing.
3. Family: My mother had a total hip replacement in December. It was absolutely necessary and will vastly improve the quality of her life but unfortunately she lost her job because of it. Completely ridiculous in my opinion, that they can fire someone for using the benefits they pay for, to get a necessary medical procedure. I worry about my brother and his health. He is so smart, I just wish he would pull his life together and take care of himself.
4. Personal Concerns: What the hell does that mean? I hate my skin and the texture of my hair. Does that count? The world is a scary place. Fox News exists. I fear I'll never be able to buy a house. Sarah Palin's book was on the best seller list. I could go on.
5. Personal Health: This is a fun one. My neck has been completely locked and painful for a week. I tried pain meds but the pain kept coming back. I went to the Chiropractor for the first time today. The doctor was actually shocked by my X-ray. My neck is so completely wrecked that my spine actually curves in the OPPOSITE direction than it should. He wasn't sure how my spinal cord wasn't being compressed in such a way that I would be suffering neurological problems. I am going to be in intensive treatment for the next month. Ouch.
6. Personal Relationships: The end of any relationship is difficult. But my last relationship was emotionally draining. I know I can't be responsible for anyone but myself, but I still feel really sad that I couldn't make things better. It was never going to happen, I know this now, and I can't feel guilty for the choices others make. Doesn't really make it easier though.
7. Death: My maternal grandmother died a couple weeks ago, following a long illness. Watching her fade away was an intense experience, but ultimately made her passing easier to cope with. There wasn't much of her left. It was like the last trace of her Liz Claiborne perfume finally drifted away. I am happy and grateful she went peacefully and is no longer suffering. I am at peace with it completely. But what makes me afraid, is that it opens the door to the other side and will start the process of losing my other grandparents. And it means my parents are that much closer to aging. And that I'm one year closer to 30 and I'm alone. Eek.
   

HOWEVER: I think that I have been instilled with a great sense of fortitude against challenges and adversities. I am not whining and I am not giving up. I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I am lucky to have a great education, a great car and a great new job. I am lucky to have a comfortable apartment and the best kitties in the world. I am lucky to have my physical health and mental well-being.

All you can really do is forge on, and have faith that the Universe will bring itself back into alignment. I am ready for change and ready for the new adventures and relationships that 2010 will bring me. So Happy New Year to all and never forget, now more than ever, to count your blessings and to say I love you when you have the chance.