Follicular Trauma

Well, my haircut was so traumatic that I had to eat an ice cream sandwich. And then I remembered (my mom reminded me) that every haircut I get is traumatic because I so thoroughly hate my hair. I always think "Maybe this will be the time she'll spin me around to look in the mirror and I will look smart, sexy, professional, confident, prompt..." I suppose that is a lot to expect of a haircut. But a girl can hope.

But sadly, it never is. Even poor Michele, my stylist, looked defeated. She was was trying to stay positive and actually said "So you just keep scrunching like this and it will look like....a big frizzy mess. Ok, let's try something else." So she then tries using a round brush with the blow dryer. And this is how I know my hair is hopeless: It actually attempted Seppuku mid-style, by leaping into the vent of the hair dryer. Michele and another stylist had to unwind my hair from the fan.

It wasn't Michele's fault. I was a difficult canvas to work with. I love the color and we'll see what happens tomorrow when I wash it and attempt some scrunching with wave-boosting mouse. At the very least, I tried something completely new and I did get to have a glass of wine at the salon and hang out with all the rich cougars in Greenville. That was pretty fun.

But now I know for sure, I can go to Supercuts and pay $12 bucks for a haircut I will love/hate just as much.

Wake-up Call

Some unpacking from today:

1. I drank way too much soda, not enough water
2. I got a lot done at work, making me feel really useful for the first time since I started
3. I sang on-the-spot at choir practice that, while on the edge of terror and humiliation, actually sounded pretty good
4. I have not gotten home before 8:30 a single night this week
5. Payday on the 15th and the last day of the month can really suck on a paycheck to paycheck kind of month
6. Spending money thoughtlessly catches up with you very quickly
7. If I don't make time to workout everyday, I lose some of the strength I have gained immediately, which just makes it harder to restart
8. Hurting someones feelings just all around sucks, no matter the intention
9. You can't pin all your plans and hopes on potentiality, sometimes the present reality must rule
10. The heart wants what the heart wants
    
11. Losing weight is awesome...until you have no pants or bras that fit and no wardrobe replacement budget
12. Kitty sneezing fits are adorable
13. I have less than 2 months to make a decision about where I'm going to live after August
14. Music is healing
15. Planning downtime to recharge is necessary
    

Grumblings

I'm not sure what was going on at work today, but I'm thinking there was a contagious case of Tourette's going around. Everyone was walking around cursing under there breath all day. I would be sitting at my desk and hear obscenities coming from 3 different directions. The fact that I'm in a cubicle in the middle of the office means I can pretty much hear everything anyway. Guess it was that kind of day for a lot of people!

I was insatiably hungry all day. I've been plateaued on my diet for the last couple weeks. I haven't gained any fortunately, but haven't lost any more. I know it's because I haven't had much time or energy to work out. I MUST get into some activity routine. Irritatingly, the Zumba classes in the area all start at like 4:00 or 4:30, long before I get out of work. There's a yoga class that I've done before that I would love to do, but it doesn't start until 7:30 and goes until 9:00, which feels really late 2 nights a week. I could rejoin the gym down the street, where classes are included for $25 bucks. Or I could join the Y, which my friend Stacy loves, but it's like $50 :-( I just need to decide what I can handle and make a decision.

Compromised by having a salad and a kids meal sized chicken finger meal for dinner. Definitely not the BEST choice, but it was sooo satisfying and not the worst choice either. (Ok and some peanut M&Ms). My tummy just needed some comfort food. OK, the INSIDE of my tummy, not the OUTSIDE.

As beautiful as a shiny flower

This was something a 4- year old I met this weekend said I was. It was very super cute. She actually helped restore some of my belief that children can be sweet and well adjusted and normal. What a sweetheart!

Today, after feeling in the diet doldrums, I had to go to Rita's for some sugar-free water ice. There was a pretty long line, but I decided that it was worth it. I was very annoyed at the number of people that, instead of parking in the parking lot that was all of 15 feet away, PULLED OVER in the fire lane and parked right in front of the store. Is it that walking that 15 feet from a parking space to wait in line for frozen calories would be too much? It was just a very slothful thing to witness. Fortunately, I was uplifted by the hundreds of people out walking and playing at Glasgow Park yesterday. Our country really needs to get it's priorities in line!

I would normally never get cherry, but that was the sugar-free flavor. As it turns out, it was sooo yummy and reminded me of summers at the pool at our apartment when I was really little. Nice memories.

15 measly pounds to go to get to my goal weight. Then my plan is to get a new tattoo to celebrate!! I'll be taking suggestions!

Spring Forward

I did a totally unspring-like thing today, which was to make chicken soup. I sort of got trapped because I bought a chicken with an expiring gift certificate, and then decided I needed to cook it since it wasn't frozen, then needed to use the carcass to make chicken stock, then needed to make the soup since the stock had been sitting there for a couple days and I decided that if I froze it, it would probably never see the light of day again.

SO I made a big pot of soup with a lot of aromatic vegetables and no starch. I figure it will be a healthy option to mix in with my eDiet meals and the rest I will take over to my parents and they can add noodles or something. The diet itself is going really well. I have lost about 11 pounds in three weeks and have even been working out semi-regularly. It does make a difference, I feel stronger, my skin is clearer, and it has certainly inspired me not to cheat. I still have a fairly long way to go, but at least I'm seeing progress.

Starting Again

Which part is harder? Starting something? Or maintaining it?

Diets, cleaning, craft projects, relationships. All hard to start, all hard to maintain.

Or are they? Why does it seem like some people have an effortless ability to visualize and achieve something, and for others even big obstacles roll right off their back. I have felt like my coping skills have began to significantly wain over the past year. And maybe it's a sign of the times we are living in. No one is coping as well as they used to and life is just too damn hard sometimes!

BUT I digress: I am starting diet #317 (or at least it feels like it). I have been on it for 4 days and have lost 4 pounds. I have even exercised twice. I'm actually feeling better already and hoping that this is something I can really stick to for at least 8 weeks. After that, as long as I have made as much progress as I hope to, I will stop "dieting" and start just living and making much better choices.

Realistic Goal: 28 pounds
Optimistic Goal: 43 pounds

The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum

Murphy's Law

That about sums it all up for now.

But after being smashed into by two possibly insured immigrants in a borrowed car, having two friends come be the best morale support I could ask for, waiting in the cold, dealing with unsympathetic policemen, fighting traffic, talking to the insurance company, being assessed at the walk-in clinic and losing all the progress I've made with the Chiropractor in the last month, I got to witness weirdness that reminds me I am still glad I am me:

Waiting at the counter at Happy Harry's to buy a massive bottle of Advil, I watched as a very angry, approximately 8 month pregnant woman with very red, recently waxed eyebrows screamed at the cashier about how absurd it was to card her for cigarettes when she obviously was older than 18 and came in there to buy cigarettes all the time and that their policy to card anyone who looks under 30 was crazy. Sure, honey, you are DEFINITELY one to preach sanity.